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Healing a broken heart ♥ Saturday, February 28, 2009
at 8:29 PM             -memories- let me tell you all a real life story . guy A likes girl A . but girl A doesnt like guy A . girl A loves his $ only . one day girl A marries guy A and say that she loves him . girl A wants guy A to buy her things that costs a bomb . girl A flirts around and call other boys sweet hearts . guy A bear with it and put in lots of good word to his friend , girl B . girl B hates to see her friend , guy A , to be tortured and made use of just like that . girl B confronts girl A and guy A . guy A say that girl A is very good and is flawless . girl B finds it hard to wake guy A up . she gave up guy A . today , guy A once said that girl A doesnt appreciate what he did for girl A . today , guy A doesnt appreciate what girl B did for him . the emphasis is on "inability of appreciation" . dont know how to appreciate , fuck off . there goes to show that im girl B . im not in love with guy A , for all your info . im just his VERY good friend . guy A = B1azingFires . girl A = KaWaiiNeKo0 . from today onwards , we're no longer friends . i cant stand friends being made use of . and if you want me to leave you alone in the lurch , sorry to tell you i cant do it . i dont have a friend like you . not anymore . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Friday, February 27, 2009
at 3:03 PMphysics test was 60/100 ... didnt really expected it to be that low . but well .. [: accept the fact . take a break ! stop pissin' me off ! will these teachers ever stop maligning us ?! WHY do uniform gives those damned teachers authority to shell at us ? WHO are you anyway ? we're all humans . you have NO right to scold us or to instruct us . i think thats being very selfish . WHY did miss lim judge me as an ahlian because i just like short skirts and have my shirt out ?! NO im not ?! im just displaying my own fashion sense ! YOU FOOLS ! stop pestering us students ! we're STUDENTS , not SLAVES . THERES A BIG DIFFERENCE AND GET IT CLEAR . WE STUDY FOR OURSELVES AND WE DONT WORK FOR YOU . abuse of authority - 淫威 . learnt from chinese chapter 5 . well so now im criticising about teachers and the judiciaries of the school . back off students . dont make me shout fk off because i respect all of you - authority abusers . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Thursday, February 26, 2009
at 4:01 PM guess i gave my lower thighs a bruise yesterday .slipped down the stairs and went home with a swollen butt .  the february test results for some subjects has been out : for mine , its : English : -not yet out- Chinese : A1 ; 80/100 Geography : -not yet out- SocialStudies : -not yet out- Chemistry : B3 ; 65/100 Physics : -not yet out- F&N : -not yet out- Emaths : D7 ; 36/100 POA : A1 ; 98/100 im ashamed of my chemistry and emaths . i wished i could have been more careful . i could have passed or rather a B3 if i'd been more careful . i would have scored A1 for chem if i werent so careless .. had physics / ss test today . physics was relatively easy , guess can pass . ss was worrying me the whole day .. last minute i changed two answers which caused me 6/25 marks . if both that answers = wrong , then i WILL fail . i wrote governance and resources , but i changed it to democracy and rules ): . i saw alot of ppl wrote governance and resources ... T-T ... i guess last minute changes are lethal -.- . english test results were out but not yet announced . there were alot of failures , as ms quek said . hope i arent one of them ... i couldnt afford to slack anymore . theres something missing in me that makes me wanna give up . oh heavens .. bring my daredevil side of me back to myself =.= now i realise i cant do without HER* .. where'd she go ... Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Sunday, February 22, 2009
at 5:45 PM dont look at my lousy dmg thanks -.- . D:< this ring not mine de =/ . last long hor , zhenhwee !ohwell .. another week's end is beginning to end D:< . i sure miss mapling and sleeping late . but i think we all have to move on with life . recently i just knew that my friend had composed a love song . sounds quite nice .. although the lyrics are kind of ambiguous . forever my darling , my love will be true . always and forever , ill love , just you . just promise me , darling , your love in return . make a fire in my soul , dear . forever burn ~ (pause) my heart's at your commands , dear . to keep , love and to hold . making you happy , is my desire , dear . keeping you is my goal . ill forever love you . the rest of my days , ill never part from you , and your loving ways . my heart's at your punishments , dear . to keep , love and to scold . making you happy , is my desire , keeping you is my goal , ill never stop loving you , for the rest of my days ... ill never part from you , and your loving ways ~ - many parents think that teenage years is not a suitable age to date . but no - we all have to know and experience whats love in the end . thus this is the best life period we experience whats called LOVE . we are not too young to love at all . 爱情面前，人人平等！ x3 Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Saturday, February 21, 2009
at 10:41 AMthe vision surrounds you , with tears in your eyes . and all that surrenders , our secret goodbye . ill be your strength , ill give you hope . keeping your faith when its gone , when it should go , ill be your pillar . and now will take , you in my heart , you close your eyes and you belong . till the day my life is through , this i promise you , love you like lifetimes before . promise you'd never , be hurt anymore . i'd give you my word , i'd give you my heart , this is a battle we've won . just close your eyes , and you know you'll be , dont let this feeling fade away , till the day my life is through , when i hear you cry , without you , in my life , baby ~ i just wouldnt believe in anything at all . i wasnt meant to love without you ~ because you , in my life , lights up everything . close your eyes , now you belong . till the day my life merge with you , forever i promise you . boy : 为什么为了我而牺牲自己？ girl : 就因为。。。我的心，从来没有离开过你。 boy :那你为什么这么做？ girl : 因为。。。我爱你。。。 after saying this line , this girl died D:< . - its a very touching story with very emotional events / themes .
- i think its the best tragical love story ive ever read . - if anyone knows about a similar story , kindly tell me the title . - its my regret that i couldnt remember the title of this story . this is deeply regretted ... Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Friday, February 20, 2009
at 8:06 PMive decided to go back to where i belong ,
im sorry to let you all down but i wanna lead my own way . respect my decision . i belong to the stage . im not a study person , im a dancer . i believe im a better dancer than a better student . i wanna join back my dance troupe , i wanna roam the stage again , i wanna dance to the flow of music freely , its how i express my emotions . im going to be back who i once was , who still remembers my long lost nickname ? no one does . this is goodbye . no matter how hard my studies will plunge , im proud of myself as a dancer . im very proud of myself . and its the only thing ive ever been proud of . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ at 12:07 PM stop making me blush . today was MAD ! annual cross country ?! woke at 5am , damn early because i'd take my own sweet time :D . walk slowly to the mrt then slept till chinese garden S:< . met friends there :E ! waited for chiwen and songdi . they're like snails , so slow ! (chiwen's gonna kill me if she sees this <) . anyway yeah reached there just in time . the crosscountry started with lowersec girls . im amazed at their endurance and agility . i admit ive underestimated them thoroughly . we'll skip the lower/upper sec boys since im a girl :D (LOL SEXIST =x) . walked 1.5km out of 2.5km . last km - SPRINT / RUN / CHIONG / DASH ? whatever you call it . hehe :D . despite the snail's pace . me and songdi realised we were 58 and 59th positions . actually its quite good okay . and also must thanks miss teo for encouraging us to run . (... silence =x...) err okay so .. prize giving ceremony . overall champion : unicorn . 1st runner up : phoenix . 2nd runner up : centaur . 3rd runner up : griffin . 4th runner up : pegasus . YIPPEE PEGASUS LAST :D ! LOL . just joking . griffin is no better :P . on the way home (mrt) . there was songdi , chengboon , pavithra , linwei and me . with some super vulgar sec1/2 boys :S ?! during the ride , those boy shouted alot of vulgar >.> . ppl were there looking at QSS students with gore . ( im too ashamed to keep my head up ): . ) so .. talked with linwei . and separated since alot of ppl on the train . reached the station where linwei alights , i must concur that he'd been behaving weird since i said bye to him . LOL DRAMA ! he will kill me when he reads this :D . chiwen dont xiangwaiwai ~ linwei is jiayuan's , and im no snatcher ~ but i realised that im smiling at thin air for some reasons D:< i think im mad ? how long have i been typing ? what does my heart want to tell me ?! LOL , (takes a stethoscope and listen to heartbeat) . heart : bompbompbomp ~ (translation : go to sleep , good night ^-< ) . THE END :P . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Thursday, February 19, 2009
at 4:54 PMso this is it .
after so long , this misunderstanding has finally been cleared . would you all like to know the truth ? i will reply to all the questions my friends asked . Q : have you really been in love with SG ? A : no i didnt . it was meant to be a joke in the first place . Q : why didnt you tell him that its a misunderstanding ? A : because i think i'd let his anger simmer down first . Q : what if he continues to be angry ? A : he has the right to be angry at me because i scolded him . Q : so how did you both clear the misunderstanding ? A : (mind asking me in r/l ? its a long story .) Q : so how do you feel ? about SG and your joke ? A : he wasnt really THAT bad as i thought . and im contented to have him back as a friend , without feuds . about my joke , i think i'd stop pranking THIS kind on joke on any boys , who knows what will happen ? Q : what do you want to say to SG ? (apologise/etc) . A : how do i know , maybe a sorry ? okay kinda weird because i havent really said sorry to anyone at all from the start . maybe ill feel really bad and guilty because ive scolded him :S . but at least the hatred is gone now . Q : --- A : can you get away from my sight before i scold you a nosey person ?! -THE END- jokes can be lethal . especially to friendship . sorry samuel goh , forgiveness is what i ask for . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Wednesday, February 18, 2009
at 4:36 PMsecretly using the computer for now (doing HEYMATHS -.- !) completed my F&N identification wordings . still havent completed my Geog rewrite and Heymaths questions . i hate this studying season . god , i miss festive season ... come back soon .. christmas ): ! Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Sunday, February 15, 2009
at 11:35 PMTATTOO - by Jordin Sparks . no matter what you say about love , i keep coming back for more , keep my hand in the fire , sooner or later i get what im asking for . no matter what you say about life , i learn every time i bleed the truth . stranger soul is in danger , i gotta let my spirit be free , admit that im wrong and then change my mind , sorry but i have to move on and leave you behind . i cant waste time so give it a moment , i realise nothing's broken . no need to worry bout everything ive done , live every second like you was my last one . dont look back at a new direction , ive loved you once , needed protection , youre still a part of everything i do . youre on my heart just like a tattoo , ill always have you .. im sick of playing all of these games , its not about taking sides . when i looked in the mirror , it didnt believe , it hurt enough to think that i could stop . if i live every moment , wont change any moment , theres still apart of me in you . i will never regret loving you , still the memory of you , marks everything i do . youre just like a tattoo , ill always have you , deeply in my heart . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Saturday, February 14, 2009
at 5:32 PMmy life is stained by painful memories ;  thinking back , i did have some true loves with me .
but i dont know what happened . my english standard has been plunging drastically . im in a quandary . i am thinking . i am still thinking . i wanna cry out loud . my body aches after the sec3 camp . my skin turned purple and looked like its about to fall off . i hate sunburns . i shouldnt have helped carrying the canoes with keesiang . im watching everyone going out for date . my , im so alone . can someone slap me awake ? but i adores being single . can someone tell me , whether is freedom or love more important ? this girl here cant stand tied up . i dont want to be caged ... let me out .. im thinking of what to type . im typing what i have thought . this is my how many lines ? this is my 24th line . im restricting myself from chocolates and all . if not i will have a recurring pimple attack . its recovering pretty fast (im shocked) . maybe its because i stuffed down veggies and fruits , during the camp when im CRYING during dinner time . its the most heartbreaking dinner ive ever eaten . thoughts flashing back in my mind , no longer able to hold back the tears . its the first time ive ever cried in a camp in my 15 years of life . whats wrong with myself , now please tell me . i concur with those that says im crazy or mentally unstable . am i of any difference compared to those insane ones ? why do my face feel wet now ? am i crying ? no i dont think i am . the sky is . why is it raining now ? is heaven taking sympathy on me ? why is this happening to me ? let me go . alot of things happened . i just realised that im no longer a happy girl . my life has changed . my personality has morphed to someone i dont even know who am i . but why ? i refused to budge . but i know i can never make it . im laying down and breathing as long as i still lives .. this is what a guy said to me today , you know who you are . but i dont have the courage to accept you . i dont want to hurt you . "100 roses for my valentine , 99 real and 1 fake ; my love for you is 100% , i will love you till the last one dies ." i have been your friend since JingJing is born in this world . maybe thats fate , maybe it isnt . but i can only tell you one thing . i will hurt you deeper , im just like a rose , but a rose with thorns . no matter how you hold me , you will still bleed . i cannot accept you . i have no courage to accept this love . im not the right girl . silly , theres always a next time . no doubt , you are right . 3 years ago i do have slight feelings for you . but i was still too young to realise what is it . now i understood that strange feeling . but its too late . ive left it hoping and burning in one corner . now it has died . im sorry ... the truth is , even if this feeling didnt die . i still wouldnt accept your love . because i dont belong to you , i dont belong to you at all , before i dont , now i dont , never i will . "If , out of time i could pick a moment and keep it shining , always new , of all the days that i have lived , i'd pick the moment i met you <3> - winning dedication of today's event . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Friday, February 13, 2009
at 5:20 PM last few moments with instructors Naz and Fang . on the way back , with heavy regrets in our mind . their smiles were hiding tears , their joy was faked . i hate to leave .. ): . savouring every moment we can .. im just like a lamp post on the street , its you who made me worthwhile . thoughts flushing our minds . "can we dont leave , please instructor ?" do we really have to do this ? the last day of the camp . the 2nd day of the camp . when leaving .. some left happily but cried .. some left crying .. some left being empty . we still have to let go . thanks for the care , encouragements and little bits of comments to change me to a better person . its time to leave and we may cry ; today we're here , and to say goodbye ; its time to part and carry on with life , so lets rid ourselves of worries and pass on the joy . - Naz . first day of camp - minghui playing with my toy . it reads : Children in the dark causes accidents ; Accidents in the dark causes children . this is for you , its my heartfelts , on valentines ill give you 100 roses , 99 real and 1 fake , my love for you is 100% , and i will love you till the last one dies . (to no one) heart breaking puffs that drew me near to tears when i flashed back the past . watery eyes >.>THE CAMP IS DAMN TOUCHING AND TOUGH . ITS AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN FOR ME . SOME OF YOU MAY SEE ME CRYING BUT WHATEVER , IM NOT BEING A CRYBABY BUT IM REALLY FEELING REAL GUILTY AND SAD . THANKS FOR ALL WHO CARED AND THOSE WHO DIDNT , BECAUSE YOU HAVE WOKE ME UP TO BE SELFLESS YET AGAIN . .. i will miss you all .. - flash backs - day 1 : gathering in school , meeting our instructors , ice breaking with the class , and leaving for the camp site . the campsite journey , the personal introduction , the arrival at the campsite . we went to play rope swing over , rebirth , prepared for the campfire and practiced dance moves . was really tiring and sweaty . didnt get to bathe until near lights off which was 11.30pm . but we were happy . day 2 : rise and shine : 6am . morning exercise : starjump and buddha claps :P . breakfast : meesiam and cheecheongfan ! activities : flying fox (zipline) , ab sailing , rock wall , canoeing , jump tight rope . lunch : (cant remember but the cucumber tasted like grass) . dinner : (sweet and sour fish with rice and almond pudding) i cried during the dinner time . it was so heartbreaking . cried till headache and my eyes were bloodshot as described by friends . i didnt meant to cry , just cant help it . rushed for the bathrooms with avril and amira after canoeing . smell so nice after all . supper : chocolate cakes . day 3 : rise and shine : 7am morning exercise : shouting cheers (lol !) . breakfast : NASI LEMAK ! OMG YUMMY . area cleaning : 2 girls toilet zzz -.- . and the worst of all the girls toilet is in a MESS . about 2 cubicle is flooded with (you know what) and used sanitary pads . AND THE WATER CAME RUSHING OUT ! andandand there was DEAD lizards in the sink ! i had to pick them out because jerald/gerald was scared of them LOL . and of cause he had to pull the (you-know-what) out from the toilet bowls omg ew . and finally .. sparkling clean but smells not so nice yet . spent about 3 hours cleaning , scrubbing , washing , pushing to get the whole toilet clean . and farewells / reflection at parade square . bid goodbye , and off we go , the end of our fate . there's always a next time , but what concerns is that who we get to be with . thanks Naz and Fang . *hugsssss )): !!* cant bear to part but i did in the end . was a fountain of neverending tears .. and heartbreaking moments . to naz : thanks for calling me XINGXING ): WHAT GORILLA . you wont be able to know my real name because i gave you my nick . you wont and youll never know . this is goodbye , you have showed me a better way to live my life and that wont be all . and to fang : thanks for consoling me when i was really down . at times i may be rebellious and naughty , but afterall we made up the ever and most spontaneous and active 301 during the camp . loves and farewells . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Sunday, February 8, 2009
at 11:25 PMi dare you to click this link and go on to the last stage :P anyway just got scared to my limit by this animated fictitious game -.- ! dam scary . AND AND AND remember to tag / comment about this animated game ! whether its no kick to you or scary =x . lazy to blog much . went to my day care centre today . was pretty cool and nice :S . woooooo sec3 camp coming ! hurray ~ to all horror movies lovers out there =x CHEERS ~ 
Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ at 1:06 AM  there you go (: .towards the end of today , qing yan actually said something ): ! what the hell ! kill him kill liang kill everyone ! not feeling so well and so happy already . i actually >.> let my friend whose level 98 TRAIN at mp3 T_T omg what a failure bishop i have been . today was quite emotional =l . agreed to spam for chiwen for 7 hours (2pm-9pm) . i know im a hardcore mapler . but after like 3 hours im already losing my focus .. what went wrong here ? sky nest 2 was literally perfect . except for the low exp that couldnt even allow you to level . ulu estate 2 was disgusting . but then again the exp is so ideal for .. you . thinking back , i realised i can only make do with sky nest 2 . im only a 2 hit in skele and ulu 2 mobs . i think i have far more to go than to be able to spam for you . why is this happening to me ? 7 hours and 2 levels ? why .. what ? i think you should find a better spammer than i could have been . you could be thinking that im a v good bishop spammer . but no .. im only your first . i dont suit to spam . i belongs to skynest 2 . from today onwards i will spam there and only there . i could have tried my best but i didnt really did . i just longs to wait for DarkRebornS to be a 1 hit bishop ; just for the sake of you .. my friend . i suddenly realised that i cant do it . not anymore .. not perfect , not for now and never . a self-reproaching bishop , is a magician stripped of her skills .. Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ Friday, February 6, 2009
at 5:34 PM DEAD PORTRAIT PHOTO . my 'trophy' . what'd you think of this ? plain , LOL . miss quek's husband =l . JUST JOKING OMG LOL .    sorry ziling =x took it out of playfulness .T.T all results out except geography and f&n. POA : 95/100 (A1) GEOGRAPHY : -to be updated- ENGLISH : 60/100 (B3) CHINESE : 57/100 (B4) F&N : -to be updated- E-MATHS : 54/100 (C6) CHEMISTRY : 80/100 (A1) SOCIALSTUDIES : -to be updated- PHYSICS : 67/100 (B3) today was standing inside bus 145 . saw these unkind people just sitting there when .. INFRONT OF THEM WAS A 8x9x YEARS OLD AHMA HOLDING WALKING STICK ! wah , surely all those people is ignorant lor ? all so black-hearted de lor ? i see le also xim tia -.- (broken heart) . even the driver come out of his seat then ask them let the seat to ahma hor . but then all ignore that driver -.- dam fuck de siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! i wanna bash them up in the face )): how can like that bully elderly ! if i got a seat i sure give to that ahma one zzz . really cant stand sg-ers bully their sg elderly(s) . please if someone kind is reading my blog , i want you all to know how much i hate those people -.- !! to the unkind/ungracious people : pick of someone your own standard . so what if you 'own' the seat first ? dont you have any morale ? if you have the cheek to answer a no , then i suggest : YOU SHOULD FUCKING BURN IN HELL _l_ . Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ |
♥ Search ♥ Yours truly   Baelia Alistair Pan. Single/ I'll NEVER be available! My heart's preoccupied I'm currently 15 Queensway Sec Scorpio 14 November's my birthday! I'm a crybaby Mad about LOVE Don't step over my limit She loves to sing! I'm fun! I like to play! Divided in two Blur as a sotong I needs lots of love and concern I'm just like a cat :D I love attention <3 Dont judge me from the outside Cause you dont understand ME . ♥ Loves ♥ Freedom ♥ Cookies ♥ Cheese ♥ Chocolates ♥ Chilli ♥ Movies ♥ Dates ♥ Loathe Hypocrites Backstabbers Betrayers Gossiping Debates Criticisms Love triangles Marriage Fast foods ♥ Desires Freedom Top10 in class Unlimited money t spend No curfew More time t hang out More pets! Change for th better Get t Sec4 Express ♥ Chains 3O1'O9 Aiko Alvin/Pegasi ChengBoon Chiwen/PurplePixies Claud Daniel Felicia Grace Janice/MissyJANx3 Jeanne JiaYuan Kenneth Marc/zxDarkFlamexz Melissa Naruto Nicholas Pavithra PingFang SamuelTeo Sequoias Guild Blog Shaun/x3Crisis Shirley Shuean Simon Terencee/xXxXShadowxX Vanessa WeiLiang XinYi XinYu Yaozhi YunTing/Krugal93 ZiLing/JuniorPixie ♥ Make some noise! ♥ Dance t th music!
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at 8:29 PM