I'm doubting myself now...
I'm afraid of the past.
I'm unsure of the current.
I'm dreading the future...

What should I do...

Is this really us or is this just me?
Is this just my own imagination and wishful thinking?

I must be crazy.
But what can possibly explain my dreams and the occurrences?
The answers never found me...
Help me.. I'm drowning in my world of nightmarish illusions..

Sorry I ran away just now.
I just couldn't reply your question.
Maybe I'm running away from my real fears..
I have no courage to tell you the truth.. For now.

I'll tell you the truth now, alright?
I'm leaving this place.

Although it has bore a lot of forsaken yet sweet memories..
Of me and you.. Even though we were so naive.

-

Back then when I went out with you and your family,
I felt a cozy feeling which I've never felt like in a long time.
I went to England for a better place to study..
And that's the place I saw you for the first time.
It felt warm watching you and your friends together.
Even though you're mean to them, they'll still stick by you.
... But why?

I wonder.. It was not long after I've known that,
I have fallen in love.. (again)...

At first I only wanted to get near you to see what's so different about you.
What made you so different from all your friends.
But after awhile, spending time with you started to get fun..
It was the first time I felt like this for a long time.

That is why I admire you so much...
Even though I know I'm just a little foreigner.
I know I don't deserve this. But I was happy.
Getting to know your parents was.. nervously fun.
Sort of like a. Family reunion to me.
I never had a completely harmonious family.
And that was why I started to be blinded by love.. again.

I wanted to further carry on in the first place.
But I realised that I could no longer do that..
I'm too deeply wounded.. by my pasts..
And I don't want to hurt you like I did to my ex(s).

And so. I chose to runaway the moment
you asked me whether I have feelings for you or not.

What about your fans, what about Milli?
They belong to you. I don't.
I'm just a foreigner. And I just got to know you.
You're every single thing. Rich, decent, kind, outgoing.
But then I just seem to know that I don't deserve YOU.

-

Remember the first day I met you on the streets?
You were streetdancing. And I was watching with my friends.
You were the one who taught me breakdancing and streetdancing.
Even though I ended up with my whole body injured and sore,
I was happy. Cos' you gave me a feeling that made me felt warm.

You said, "Hi, how do you do?"
And I couldn't even understand what're you saying.
Because I'm not used to your type of accent.
And I made a fool of myself. Haah. What dorks.

But everytime I looked into your eyes. You just made my heart race.
To tell you honestly, I'm able to let go of my memories, it's all becos' of you.
Now you've became my strength, I'm not letting you become my weakness.
And end up like me and max did. Never.

And so, I've chosen to leave and escape from reality.
Just cos' I've fallen in love with you, that I have to leave.

I don't deserve this.
Go back to Milli.
She understands you. She's more compatible in every aspect.

Look at me. I don't even get what you're trying to say..
And Milli? She suits to be your girlfriend.
She understands you, she knows you more than I do.
She was there right from the beginning, and I wasn't.

Being in a love triangle hurts,
so I'm returning you to Milli...
I'm leaving for sure.

-

It's nice knowing you, really.
Deep from my heart I want to say a thank you,
for being my first caucasian crush. (haah, yeaps.)
Thanks for being there for me when I'm at my lowest.
I'm sorry I couldn't repay your kindness.

I'll always remember you~
I'll always smile when I think of you (: honestly.
But what can I do, is just to say a,
"Thank you, sorry, and goodbye."

Lastly before I go...
I'm proud that I've hang out with you before.
While your fans don't even get a chance.

And...
I've never regretted knowing you.
Yes. I love you.
But it's too late.
Goodbye, George W.Sampson.

(I know you're busy. But when you're back and you see this post, I've already vanished from your life. Take care, and farewell.)

- Baelia

Sorry,
I forced myself t walk away from you ♥