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Healing a broken heart ♥ Sunday, September 20, 2009
at 3:06 AMI'm sorry I wounded myself out of exasperation again.
Haah, no I'm not emo. I'm bored. It's 3.47 in th morning and I'm doing nothing. I'm thinking... I've officially met him on March 20... I met him on February 14, 2008... but we were only strangers. Before that we were just strangers only walking pass ea other... And ending up doing things only a couple would do... And becoming back strangers again =.="... Wow. It was gone in a blink of an eye, I just realised. It flew away before I even knew I had th chance t grab it. Never there will be a chance t relive back th old past. There will never be another opportunity. Half a year has passed since I known him... It seemed so fast and insignificant. But honestly speaking. He's a major part of my life. He'll always be. That's so different. Now, thinking back from secondary 2, all those memories.. From strangers... To acquaintances... To secret admirers... To dates... To lovers... Finally to a couple. Th things we did.. Th words you said bring smiles t my face. Th places we walked on, what you told mea... Th places you brought mea t explore in Singapore. Really funny. I'm a local and I needed a Cambodian t bring mea around. Guess I'm really dependent on you huhs?. I'm so used t th feeling of security you've given mea. Ever wonder why we didn't last? It was before we've only known each other for 1 day before we got together. And yeah, you didn't turn out t be who I wanted you t be. Th past was really awesome, I must admit. But we met a raging storm which tore us apart. Left mea salvaging my life in th boundless sea, and you aimless because I was your shining star. It crippled both of us emotionally. Maybe it's a test from heaven. Or maybe we're really not meant t be together. I tried going back t you and giving you a chance. But it seems like now, I'm only something t keep you away from boredom. You'll only talk t mea when you're bored or have nothing t do. What has came in between us? Are you scared, do you have something hindering you? I had a relevation yesterday. Then on my mind was only that I want t go back t you. But now. I've thought about it for a long time. I realised, we weren't really suit for each other. It was a mistake from th start that we insisted. We didn't listen t fate's advice and ended up getting so hurt. It may take years for mea t forget you, but I know you're going t do a good job and be a good guy w.out mea. What's over just let it be, remember? This was what you told mea. If I can let go, I think you can too. Because you're a strong guy. And I was wrong. I thought you were pride-oriented. But you proved not t be. You asked mea back. I was never absolutely correct. Do you still remember these? "First, I will say sorry. Now let's break bah.. I feel that we're from different worlds. I feel like I don't have any feelings w. you anymore.. I don't know why too but I just know I don't love you anymore.. I'm sorry but I have no choice, I have t say this before I hurt you deeper. Sorry" "Don't silly.. Your new boyfriend may make you happier. I didn't think that I didn't do anything for you t make you happy. Just give him chance, and just forget mea. Trust mea, trust him, you will forget mea. That's all I can say.. We are friends, remember?" "Live happily... forget mea." - After 2 desperate, emotionally-crippling, miserable, salvaging months, I've finally learnt t let go w. th help of George. And now you're telling mea. - "There is a question I want to ask you. Is that okay? But after th question, I hope it won't hurt you. So are you ready for my question?" "If there is a chance for you t come back t mea, will you come back?" "I'm so silly right. I know th answer will be no but I still asked. Forget it. (: Be happy." "I don't know too. I feel like I've lost something big. And that something is you." - I gave you a good reply. And a better condition. But sadly you weren't up t my expectations. My requirements aren't really as high. But you prove t be unworthy. "I can come back t you and pretend nothing had happened. But I hope you won't hurt mea like you did." And you weren't up t my challenge. That marks th end of a possible comeback. My smses after that is far colder. Forgot what I said? "I've thought abt it for a long time. You were always th one saying sorry. Now I know that I'm at fault all along. I'm selfish, I know because I'm happier like this. And I only wanted myself t be happy. Yes, I like being single. I love th attention all th guys have given mea. You can say I'm being a flirt but I'm just being honest. I think you still love mea. But maybe it's th pain you've caused mea. Th truth is, I've completely given up on you th moment I know you love someone else. Losing mea is nothing big. Be realistic. We've only known each other for 1 day before you ask mea out. It's not going t last long. I'm not dumb, don't try t love mea because we all know that once th feeling is gone, it can never be found back. Maybe we weren't meant t be together. And maybe it's time for you t realise that. We can never be more than strangers. For th first and th last time, sorry.. it's time t go our separate ways." Although after that I agreed t be your special friend. Definition : more than friends, less than lovers. I allow it t be. But that's where th line ends at. I've made up my mind, I'm not going back t you. I don't love you anymore. I once did. You murdered this love of mine, no point resurrecting it now. Th person I love, I've left him back in England. You'll only at most be my friend. And that's where the line ends at. Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ |
♥ Search ♥ Yours truly   Baelia Alistair Pan. Single/ I'll NEVER be available! My heart's preoccupied I'm currently 15 Queensway Sec Scorpio 14 November's my birthday! I'm a crybaby Mad about LOVE Don't step over my limit She loves to sing! I'm fun! I like to play! Divided in two Blur as a sotong I needs lots of love and concern I'm just like a cat :D I love attention <3 Dont judge me from the outside Cause you dont understand ME . ♥ Loves ♥ Freedom ♥ Cookies ♥ Cheese ♥ Chocolates ♥ Chilli ♥ Movies ♥ Dates ♥ Loathe Hypocrites Backstabbers Betrayers Gossiping Debates Criticisms Love triangles Marriage Fast foods ♥ Desires Freedom Top10 in class Unlimited money t spend No curfew More time t hang out More pets! Change for th better Get t Sec4 Express ♥ Chains 3O1'O9 Aiko Alvin/Pegasi ChengBoon Chiwen/PurplePixies Claud Daniel Felicia Grace Janice/MissyJANx3 Jeanne JiaYuan Kenneth Marc/zxDarkFlamexz Melissa Naruto Nicholas Pavithra PingFang SamuelTeo Sequoias Guild Blog Shaun/x3Crisis Shirley Shuean Simon Terencee/xXxXShadowxX Vanessa WeiLiang XinYi XinYu Yaozhi YunTing/Krugal93 ZiLing/JuniorPixie ♥ Make some noise!  ♥ Dance t th music!
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at 3:06 AM