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Healing a broken heart ♥ Friday, November 13, 2009
at 2:12 PM♥ Romance's unintended resurrection ♥
Well I guess it's REALLY over. & I realised 1 thing... Something that we'll BOTH never escape from.. I always knew that my life will never end good. Gone was the LiJing that was once true. & I think I'd shown silent acceptance by accepting myself as Baelia... Have I really changed so much? How was I like when I was back in Sec2? I forgot.. Seriously I did. I changed? I don't know, did I really change? Everyone's telling me I've changed SO much. Personality. Studies. Attitude. Feelings. Even in romance. Can someone tell me where I've changed?! I need t find back my roots. I need t be who I am. But... Who am I, really? Guess I don't know. Am I Baelia? Or am I LiJing? Or am I Baelia Pan Li Jing? I'm real confused now. What should I possibly do. Oh god. Please help me. I'll never love again, promise I won't! I know I won't because it's impossible giving up someone who had never existed. We both had that serious problems. To some extent, I find it funny. But I find it a little pitiful too. I... I know. I knew it long ago. My life was meant t be a contradiction. It's time for you t realise what true love really is, loving me for what I am. No, don't be fake. It won't help. I know that. I'd love you for who you are. Except that part where you're so selfish. I can't believe you. It's sad t say you love me for what I WAS. But I can never change back... We're both sorry... It just won't work. I forgot who I am...... *oh shit. why am I crying AGAIN*? I will not change for you. I believe I've not changed. At all. But I want t change my heart. I'm scared. I don't want t love someone who is non-existent. You got th same problem too, don't you? I don't think I love Max... I love Samnang... Max's th selfish one. I don't want him. So I guess. We've both changed. Now it's only fair that I accept it. Do you know why? Cos' I always know that you'll find me back. Because you're looking for th one you love. But... Sad t say I'm not her. You'll never find her again. Never. Thank you for th best birthday zoo outing. I'll bare that in mind. & I'll never accept you again. Sorry, but just, let me go. I don't want t be hurt again. I'll remember deeply in my heart. Those places we've been t. Such imaginary wonderful places. Cold room. Clarke quay. Bugis. The Zoo. Amara. AMK hub. We've walked on th road of Commonwealth. T your home. T that wrongful past. I've never had this feeling, to have someone there & yet felt so alone. I never felt this hopeless, to experience heaven & and yet hell the next minute. We've threaded on the hills of this country, leaving our footprints as marks of love. Washed away by rain, forgotten in time; broken was the love I had never once lied, gone was the judge of heart who had once reside... And Baelia & Max lived happy. Separately. After. ♥ The End ♥ Sorry, I forced myself t walk away from you ♥ |
♥ Search ♥ Yours truly   Baelia Alistair Pan. Single/ I'll NEVER be available! My heart's preoccupied I'm currently 15 Queensway Sec Scorpio 14 November's my birthday! I'm a crybaby Mad about LOVE Don't step over my limit She loves to sing! I'm fun! I like to play! Divided in two Blur as a sotong I needs lots of love and concern I'm just like a cat :D I love attention <3 Dont judge me from the outside Cause you dont understand ME . ♥ Loves ♥ Freedom ♥ Cookies ♥ Cheese ♥ Chocolates ♥ Chilli ♥ Movies ♥ Dates ♥ Loathe Hypocrites Backstabbers Betrayers Gossiping Debates Criticisms Love triangles Marriage Fast foods ♥ Desires Freedom Top10 in class Unlimited money t spend No curfew More time t hang out More pets! Change for th better Get t Sec4 Express ♥ Chains 3O1'O9 Aiko Alvin/Pegasi ChengBoon Chiwen/PurplePixies Claud Daniel Felicia Grace Janice/MissyJANx3 Jeanne JiaYuan Kenneth Marc/zxDarkFlamexz Melissa Naruto Nicholas Pavithra PingFang SamuelTeo Sequoias Guild Blog Shaun/x3Crisis Shirley Shuean Simon Terencee/xXxXShadowxX Vanessa WeiLiang XinYi XinYu Yaozhi YunTing/Krugal93 ZiLing/JuniorPixie ♥ Make some noise!  ♥ Dance t th music!
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at 2:12 PM