Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


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at 10:55 PM

hey guys. i'm online tonight. here blogging cos i've got nothing to do.

to be absolutely honest, this week is quite a bomb for me.
we had adam khoo's full 3 days workshop.
the timing was 8am in the morning to 9pm in the night.
it was really tough for me, cos i'd always slept at 7.30pm.
i suffered this 3 days but i learnt a lot from them, a lot of stuffs i can never forget.

i basically wake up 5 in the morning and do my usual routine of getting ready for school.
so that i'll never be late and punished again.
waking up was hard. i could feel my eyelids ever so heavy, on the verge of collapsing.

normally i'd sleep at 7.30pm. but i had to adapt for this very important 3 days of my life.
i yawned, teared, sighed, dozed, slept in the workshop.
but the trainers had never scolded me.

it was really fantastic, inspirational and motivating.
there were 3 trainers for us, 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon and 1 in the night.
the trainers were hilarious and yet serious.
although sometimes they may preach us a little because we aren't too mature yet,
i know it's for our own good.

day 1. they taught us lots of unobvious but important stuffs.
how to study effectively, super memory.
how to derive pleasure out of studies.
they told us about self esteem and confidence.
and they said that, once you believe in yourself, nothing can get in your way.
you know what? you can never plan to fail. i mean really.
if you plan to pass and you pass, you passed.
if you plan to pass and you failed, you planned to pass.
if you plan to fail and you failed, you passed because you got what you wanted!
funny huh?
they showed us an old movie called "rocky",
it's about this boxer, he was once a boxing champion but he was defeated badly.
and he never had faith in himself after that, so he quitted boxing.
his family left him, until years later his sister yelled at him to wake up.
there's nothing to be afraid of, no one's invincible, you might just win.
true enough, after gaining courage and faith, he geared towards his goal.
trained day and night, till that very day.
the boxer won the first round with the current champion boxer.
but he lost the second round.
the third round was a mystery, the boxer was beaten badly.
his lips were bleeding, face dented with 2 blood spurting eyes,
but he never gave up enduring.
at the very last moment, the boxer attacked from behind.
giving his best shot, until finally the current champion falls to his pride.
and there. he did what was originally impossible in his context.

i cried. i really cried. it was so touching.
day 1 changed my life a little, but i had doubts in myself.
but day 2 really woke me up.

-

day 2. they continued teaching important skills and techniques as usual.
but what was outstanding on this day was the topic about parents.
have you ever thought that your parents are naggy?
have you ever thought that they're selfish?
they kept comparing you with your siblings or relatives or friends.
they beat, cane, whip you. and even chased you with a chopper.
you complained that they'd never give you your own privacy.
everyday after reaching home, you just go in your room and slam the door shut.
not talking to them a single bit.

how ironic, don't you see?
on the parents side. they'll be thinking,
"my ahboy or ahgirl last time everyday come home talk to me,
but now why they reach home go room ji tao slam door ley?"
i just realised how lonely and neglected they felt.
you really don't need me to explain the other points, it's all for your own good.

what made me really cry was the trainer.
he was telling us about those kind of mean, selfish and hurting things we did/said to our parents.
everyone knows that freedom will be waiting for you at the age of 21.
so this particular trainer wished yearly for his 21st bday to come fast so that he could be free.
but on that very day, after his parents bought him his 21st bday cake,
BANG. car accident. parents left the world.
freedom.
freedom?
now that there's no parents, you're free now. are you happy?
no.
and he wished he had never wished for freedom.
but he deeply knew that this wish would never come true.
it's over now. regret?

when he was telling us that, all the girls cried. 50% of the boys did too.
we were crying like dogs and slaves. it was so shamefully embarrassing.
so he told us to sit fully on the chair, lean forward and put our elbows on our knees.
and with our fingers, cover our eyes so that we can have our PRIVACY and cry.

i cried till i had migraine.
my eyes were like goldfish's.
my eyes were pink and puffy.

how unfilial we had been.
10 months of pregnancy, 16 years of hard work in order to bring us up.
what's even worse is, some degrees holder can't even survive in this world.
my mum ended her studies when she was only p2.
she taught me how to read and pronounce words like:
cloudy day. kao li ley.
rainy day. lei ni ley.
sunny day. sun ni ley.
it's funny. but it's so.. touchingly silly of her.

and when everyone else was crying, i whispered to myself.
"sorry mum, sorry dad."

his/her white hair.
his/her aged and dry skin.
his/her weak bones and joints.
his/her rheumatism.
his/her dental problems.
his/her high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes.
i was a picky eater. so my mum had to be a rubbish bin and she ate everything up.
she has grown old..

then. the trainer told us to write a letter for our parents.
to say how sorry we are, how good we had it, how bad we felt.
whilst everyone were tearfully scribbling down their deepest heartfelts,
i wrote.